building my destiny



Recover from depression

Last seven years were years of sadness and hopelessness in my life. Extreme tough situations and confused mind along with many unfocused decisions  made my life very difficult for me. Time after , time life fell into despair,pain and anguish. No one to help and seemingly unsolvable  problems made it life colorless and sad. Seeing everyone happy and energetic around you along with feeling of losing everything you have worked for whole your life was nerve wrecking experience. Feeling of endless effort to be taken to get out of this tunnel without any vibrancy of life made living worthless. Then, how did i can write about a recovery?

Its just like a dead coming back and telling how could  he have escaped the tragedy , if only he got one more chance!! If i write about it it will be cruelty to others who are not able to pull themselves from this fire pit. Only i can say is that i know what you are undergoing, I Know what it is, I know how it feels , I know how painful it is,I wish i was that  friend , that brother, that sister who you want to be near you , who loves you and would stay with you no matter how screwed up you are.

Live it, Just don’t expect others to understand or try them make understand(even it is your family , who you expect to be supportive,), both are waste of time and energy . Just move on and solve it .

If you want to talk to me just ping me. Be happy . I love you.

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Running away

Sometimes ,to live a good life becomes a sort of challenge in an ordinary human beings lifetime. In my case the challenge was like climbing a steep hill expecting on the the other side a pleasant scenic promised land.But unfortunately i never found one. Journey itself got so tough that ,at some point of time i lost the hope of ever reaching the so called “Happy” life and kind fell into deep despair. Regret of losing whole life in trying to climb such high hill and forgetting to live made me feel like a miser trying hoard money for some unknown future.But , neither i wanted to get back nor i had the energy to keep going and place one step more. Life seemed like an unending loop and infinite at the same time. Pain, anger, anguish, self loathing, name anything that captures the human suffering .zenpostersHelplessness was the only thing that i can feel. However far i think, i couldn’t find my future , however i try to move on, something inside me was dead .That numbness was more painful than anything that i have ever known. It shook my soul to that point that i no longer knew what i am going to do . It never gave me a chance to get my life back to normal. I never thought that i will ever become something like that. I used to wonder at other people going out of touch but never fancied it for myself. But when it came, it came as large storm uprooting my senses and judgement and life along with it.

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